I have been away from my work out of fear.

Fear of failing. Fear of losing power. Fear of knowing the silences that keep me awake and send sickness into my soul.

But to not write – not express my grief, my trauma, my fury, my reaching out for justice and peace – makes me feel that old robot that I became when I was prostituted.

So, I have no choice but get back on the abolitionist horse.

This blog is not just about abolition of the sex trade. It is also focus on how trauma is for exited – using my experiences as example.

Everything I write is example – that a tiny example of what is common to women and girls (and some males) inside the sex trade.

Nothing I write is rare, mostly it is done to millions of the prostituted every day in every continent.

I write to end the genocide of the prostituted, not to stop the occasional rapes or sexual abuse.

I write to to show the intense PTSD that is the norm to most exited women.

I write to there is no safe way to exist in the sex trade, there never was and there can never be utopia whilst the sex trade exists.

I write to say the voices of exited from every country, culture and time must lead the abolitionist movement. Our voices have been silenced and spoken over for too long.

That is just a start.

I want to say I called my a radical exited woman.

This is for many reasons, including the desire to confront the left and some radical feminists without having to censor myself.

I feel that the prostituted have always had multiple voices of resistance.

In the male’s view, usually a punter/profiteer’s viewpoint – the Whore is considered to manipulative translated as powerful.

We know this is crap, but still the left and some radical feminist find ways to silence the power of exited women speaking truth to power.

I will a few ways of silencing, but know this is the tip of gigantic pile of lies and excuses used to silenced exited women and prevent them from their rightful leadership roles.

Firstly there is keeping us poor – how many in the left and radical feminism think we should not paid, but full wages for our work.

Giving speeches, doing research, creating outreach work and shelters, being a writer is work – and exited women are meant to do out the kindness of their souls.

Well, fuck that.

One reason I found hard to keep up with my work, was I working extremely hard with trauma shadowing me – and getting almost nothing back.

Exited women have masses to give, and inventive to make abolition real. But why should we be used and toss away by the left and some radical.

To do that is to copy the behaviour of a punter – and no exited woman should have to smile and act nice when treated that way.

This leads to another reason – that the left and radical feminism are afraid of exited women expressing grief or deep anger.

In other ways, we are still treated like non-human dolls that only show expressions when it fits into your preconceived ideas of what a prostituted woman is.

Grief is constantly silenced.

Yes, our grief is long-term. Hell, we are all linked to the grief of exited women from more than 3000 years ago in all continent.

Our grief cannot be contained until every single prostituted person is free and has a life of dignity.

When an exited woman speaks to grief, it never a single grief. We carries ghosts of women and girls who never exited.

It is a huge political statement – the grief of exited women.

Don’t dare silence our grief – for it you really want male violence to disappear, then listen to the wise words that forms our grief.

It is the same fear with fury of exited women. Righteous is a strength, but our anger is constantly tone down and silenced by the left and radical feminism.

Our anger that we always have to compared to others to heard.

We are silenced if speak to how vast the scale of male violence is the norm in all of the sex trade.

Please don’t use words like

Genocide

Mass raping

Rape to almost dead

Torture

Being made sub-human etc etc

Please don’t say that it is normal for the prostituted to disappear or be murdered.

Hell, please only sketch a tiny bit of the conditions that were your norm.

How do create lasting conditions to form abolition is we refuse to see and know what it is to be prostituted.

I am sick of exited women having to 4;protect everyone from hearing the realities of the sex trade – our allies must stop censoring our fury and desire to expose what it is to be prostituted.

To end, please write to me all you can about this post. I am very isolated, and need the solidarity that you give me.